Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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