just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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