I love black thongs
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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