2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
