I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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