I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
