Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
