I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
