You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
