We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
