It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
