i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
His nipple licking is glorious
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