at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
