I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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