you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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