6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
