Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
