just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
