I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
