your thong is hanging out like whoa
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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