so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
