at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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