I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I believe in your delicious
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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