I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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