We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
