remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
