I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
