you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
