My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
