i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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