She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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