Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize