just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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