Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
