i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
