sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
