I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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