You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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