So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
