I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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