I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
