Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
