i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
