I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
