I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
thus making me awesome and them whores
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
