A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
