Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so let's talk penis.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
How's work?
Spinning.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
