well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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