I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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