): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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