I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
