I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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