It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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