3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
