mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
