UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
