Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
