Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
