my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
