i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
