tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize