I need help removing her.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
