dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
