I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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