you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize