So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
