she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
