YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
