I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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