I can text with my tongue
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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