I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
third nipple confirmed
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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