Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just cut my nipple shaving
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
