So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
